Text by Narayan Krishnamoorthy, photos by Chris Heg and Keith Moore
La Belle Dame Sans Merci
We have long believed that the raison d’etre of randonneuring is “anything worth doing, is worth doing to excess”. The definitive proof of that is the wonderful, pretty, and cruel Fever Dream 400K course, lovingly conceived and initiated by my evil twin Keith Moore. In his defense, he came up with it in a fugue, and he certainly didn’t force me to pre-ride it. Besides, if you know anything of my randonneuring history, a seeker of big challenges I am not. But the other credo of randonneuring is also “friends don’t let friends do dumb things… alone”. However, I just had to test myself against it, to see if I could arrive at the finish in the time allotted.
We met at the Starbucks a bit after 5.30 AM, delayed only slightly by our vastly more talented fellow pre-rider Chris Heg’s “inability” to locate his helmet. My first reaction was that he had finally come to his senses about pre-riding the course, but alas, he had just left it in his car, and willingly announced that he was prepared and able. Onward and upward, we would go.
We left at 6:00 AM. A few almost traffic-free kilometers found us on the Centennial trail, at which point the skies started dousing us with the occasional rain drop, which then turned into something a bit persistent, so we pulled over at the Nakashima Barn and donned our rain gear. We had been hoping to avoid that until about 9:00 AM, but sadly the rain would be an off and on companion through to the end of the ride. The ethos of the ride was “thou shalt not faff”, so we made quick work of the first kilometers until we got to La Conner, where a welcome potty break gave us a good excuse to stretch our legs, lose some ballast, and prepare ourselves for the rigors ahead.
Riders would be best served to follow our exact principle and not faff around until at least La Conner in the interest of banking the most time possible on what is the easiest part of the course. Mr Moore, you see, is a hard task master, but he at least gives you a head start. Carry food and water to last you awhile: I carried around 1400 calories on me.
The descent on Reservation Road is your final moment of respite, and you should savor it; the hills start with a vengeance at this point. The climb to SR 20 is a real doozy. A gentleman doing yard work told us “it gets worse” as we were huffing and puffing on the lower slopes of Deception Road. Care should be exercised from this left turn onwards until you clear Deception Pass Bridge, because the shoulders are narrow and debris-filled and traffic may be high. Keep moving and survive Whidbey. That is all there is to be said. I brought up the rear of the train on many a hill and my compatriots were patient and soft-pedaled and waited on many a hilltop. I remember walking one, which is a good way to stretch one’s legs.
On Whidbey, we stopped every 40-50K for a few minutes to refuel, rest up, or deal with minor mechanicals. Chris had a loose crank – no pun intended – and Keith had the right tool to fix it until Chris bought a new set at our Langley stop. Speaking of mechanicals, start this ride with a well maintained bicycle. The route is tough as is, banking time in any abundance is going to be hard and you don’t want to hurt your chances even more by riding something that is going to be less than reliable.
Our grand goal was to get off Whidbey by sunset, a goal we missed by a small margin of an hour and 15 minutes. The route goes around the hard direction around the Island but you are blessed with some fantastic views of the water, the mountains, and farms. Traffic is calm on all of the side roads except on SR 20 and SR 525, so please take care on those. It will likely be dark when you head north across the bridge to get off the island. Also, do not be shy to ask to ride with your fellow starters near dusk and into the night. It is safer than riding alone and company at night makes the miles melt away faster.
Once you cross Deception Pass Bridge to exit Whidbey, take care for the next few kilometers as you come to the right turn onto Deception Road. Take this descent carefully. The hills don’t end until after crossing the bridge into La Conner, but we had rain to deal with, which hopefully you lot don’t have to. You will probably ride into the Stanwood Arco in the wee hours of the night. But believe me, it will be the second most wonderful sight on the ride. We got ourselves some coffee, more food and set off to conquer Camano.
Trust me when I say Camano will feel easier after the rigours of Whidbey. You will have had some flat sections getting there and so may have had a chance to recover, a touch. The first few kilometers are easy, with the first climb after the right turn onto E North Camano Road. We saw not a single car until the left turn onto Eiger Bay Road, which was a first for us. Keep an eye out for traffic at all times, however. You may not have the same fortune as us. We had some loose chipseal to deal with and hopefully it’ll be fixed by the time you get there.
Sorry about the hill on Russell Road, but hey it’s low traffic and is one of the last few climbs. A few short climbs later you should be off Camano, watch that descent however. We were set for food and water and so skipped the Arco stop on the way back. The skies had started to lighten up for us at this time. We had a bit more rain on Pioneer Highway, which was cruel and there was some traffic. Take care on this road as it is curvy and you could go off the road as a friend of mine did on a 400K several years ago. You will cross the 400K mark a short while after the turn onto Smokey Point (which I always think of as Smoked Bacon Road, for some reason) and when you see the Little Caesar’s on your left it is time to turn left and you should see the most glorious sight in the world, and that is the finish.
Congratulations and resist the urge to call Mr Moore any unflattering names. You have now finished one of the hardest 400s in the Pacific Northwest.
Bonne route!
